Kelly's redbeet factory
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about kelly

What is redbeet

This is my retro website coded in PHP with a well-worn keyboard, elbow grease and Unix servers running php-fpm with mysql and nginx on FreeBSD.

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About Kelly Martin

Kelly Martin is a father, husband, hiker, novelist, reader, writer, world traveler, yogi, gym rat, a lefty, and grain-fed.

He is organic and comprised of approximately 82% beef, 8% chicken, 6% fat, 4% other. He's a dog loving beach bum, sports car enthusiast and world explorer.

Certified Organic

I'm Kelly Martin, the real one, the original and authentic one, the first, the number one.

Kelly is the King of all other Kelly Martins everywhere in the world, living on or orbiting around the planet, visiting the moon, or enroute elsewhere in the solar system, along the cosmos across the event horizon and beyond. The first words on the web by the official Kelly Martin as noted here have were beamed across the Milky Way into strange worlds far away, all thanks to the Redbeet factory.

Yes, you have reached the official site.

Beware! Aliases and misspellings abound!

The correct way to spell Kelly Martin's name is as written here. He/she/they might be also known by alternate spellings which might seem correct at first, but are almost certainly not the correct one.

These spellings include, but are not limited to:

  • Kelly Martian, the alien imposter and green counterfeit,
  • Kelly Martins and Kelly Martens, those plural gemini twins,
  • Quel-y Martin, as the French would write it,
  • Killee Martin, as the French pronounce it,
  • Kel ly Mar tin, found through abb reviat ions,
  • and of course ...
  • Martin Kelly, my reversed doppleganger, vs
  • Martin, Kelly, the original, the one.

Of course there are always those who read the name and assume that Kelly is a lady, instead of a proud and successful yet humble man, and while it's fine to think of ladies and Kelly himself thinks of them quite often, some of those ladies have similar names like Kellie Martin the actress, as opposed to Kelly Martin, the male and original 501.

And then there are the Kelly Martin fighter pilots,
the rocket engineers,
the billionaires,
the bazillionaires,
the brazilianhairs,
the late night talk show hosts,
Kelly Martin the rig worker,
Kelly the future the astronaut,
the musician, the writer,
the heavy-duty mechanic.
Could he be perhaps, more?
Kelly Martin and all these imposters everywhere shall rule the world!

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each page certified 100% beef